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Sun, 11 Nov 2012 09:27:32 +0000 hourly 1 By: Michael Natkin Fri, 23 May 2008 05:16:46 +0000 GastroGnome and I have been carrying on a little back and forth on this topic recently, and it reminded me of this thread. Our discussion started with vegetarians but quickly moved to all “picky eaters”.

By: tauro the chef Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:56:18 +0000 I forgot to mention the recent diner who, after 3 bites of her salmon dish, decided the fish tasted “fishy” and the risotto–”undersalted.” She did not want another dish, and expected that she would not be charged. 4 different staff members tried bits of her dish to see what was wrong, and no one could detect any reason for her
complaints. She was a regular, and had that dish a few times in the past month, which lent some credulity to her complaint.
What to do? The fish tasted delicious to all 4 of us. The risotto tasted perfect.
Was it just her bad mood? Is it fair to the house to lose the entire cost of the entree to a fickle guest? Was it wrong of us to taste food from the rejected plate? Or was it all part of the job to learn that the customer’s opinion may not always be “right”?
We comped her dish without discussion. The kitchen shrugged it off, after a few grumpy minutes. But we all went home kind of dissatisfied.

By: tauro the chef Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:44:05 +0000 Aye-yai-yai, after 17 years in the rest-and-rant business, I try to laugh at the folly of the customer-brat, and remember that they are untrained little ones, sometimes petulant, sometimes gracious–but, they do patronize the business, and deserve patient respect for being a paying guest. BUT, we do need a radical shift in the way restaurants manage and navigate difficult customers. The chain operation will always spoil and indulge their customers, which creates the expectation and training that these types bring to upscale restaurants, where their behavior often seems to be derived from their shock/anger at the “high prices” being charged.
However, what most american diners do not realize is the true cost of purchasing and preparing fine quality food, not to mention the general labor cost of managing and staffing an operation–not to mention the crazy difficult mental work of being a line cook who must concentrate to perform the intricate and demanding dance
of dinner service. When you get multiple substitution requests, it can really throw off one’s concentration and speed.
Here in northern California, we are better trained, since many of us foodies shop at farmer’s markets, and pay “true” prices for organic, sustainable, and pasture-raised
foods. If I see a $35 entree of pasture-raised lamb chops, I understand that the food cost for that item is likely to be $14, just for the meat. And the rest gets “eaten up” quickly.
That fast food and chain mentality has spoiled many americans rotten, and desensitized them to the real costs of cooking and serving food in a nice, well-managed atmosphere. (Versus the false corn product modifiers as explained so well in Pollan’s, The Omnivore’s Dilemma!)

Screaming children should be banned from a fine dining room. The parents usuallly are numb to the screams. Management is usually too afraid to offend or educate them on good parenting skills.
Cell phone users–well, there are those reception disconnectors which, although illegal, do disconnect calls, but really–why can’t diners have manners?
Recipe demanders–it used to be a way to get your restaurant into Gourmet, or Bon Appetit, which helped create publicity, thereby providing something back. The server could suggest the guest write one of the food magazines to request it.

But–ultimately, some people are just demanding and petulant. And they can run to their nearest “ type blog” and post their injustice–which is often a slight exaggeration of the incident.
I think the best way to handle difficult people is to provide tools to the entire staff.
Tools that help them communicate softly but firmly, with a gentle facial expression,
and tools that help them shrug off the nasty folks. Restaurant work requires a certain level of “groundedness” and equanimity, which few of us inherit, but most of us can develop with training.

By: Richard Chan Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:45:38 +0000 Not to offend anyone, but I think in the US, we just demand too much. In Europe and Asia, you just go to the restaurant and like going to a friends home or going to your parents house. You just let the chef feed you and choose according to your own preference. If the restaurant can accomodate your request, it should not be taken for granted but accept with gratitude. In US, we just have this obsessive mentality of “I want it my way”. Afterall, not all restaurants are Burger King and I would be amused if someone ask for a receipe of the Big Mac and what goes in the secret sauce.

By: Cakespy Sun, 18 Nov 2007 03:15:01 +0000 Dana–so glad I am not crazy and that the restaurant scene in my mind actually exists.

I’m embarrassed to admit I have not been to Veil yet although I only live 5 blocks away!

By: Michael Natkin Sat, 17 Nov 2007 08:07:15 +0000 One more thought on this. I think the most potentially galling refusals are of the “it will violate the integrity of the dish” variety. If you refuse because you are too busy, or the ingredients are already mixed or whatever, most customers will understand. But if you are just saying “I know better than you, you don’t really want it that way”, it is going to piss them off.

Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. If you are the kind of chef to whom their personal vision of a great plate is more important than making that customer happy, rock on. I mean that seriously. You wouldn’t ask Picasso to redo a painting, only with a little less blue. But you wouldn’t hesitate to say that to your house painter. So I guess that is the bottom line. You have to know if your restaurant is in the business of painting houses or masterpieces, and accomodate accordingly.

By: Michael Natkin Sat, 17 Nov 2007 07:45:54 +0000 Interesting questions… working at Cafe Flora gives one perspective on this. Because we are one of the few vegetarian restaurants in Seattle, we naturally get a lot of folks with dietary restrictions. Many people need gluten free for example, or vegan, and we try to design many of our dishes to either meet those standards or to have an easy option (i.e. serve the French Dip with no cheese and vegan aioli for the fries).

We also accomodate a vast range of other requests. It seems like about every third order has a note. Splits, extra sauces, to gos, whole new made up pizzas that require a trip to the walk in and vegetables to cut, whatever. We generally try to do every one of them, in fact I don’t think I’ve seen a request turned down.

So is that the best way to run a restaurant? I don’t think there is necessarily one right answer. It works at Flora with our vibe and clientele. And I think we take a bit of pride in the kitchen in handling these requests. Other types of restaurants can “get away” with being less flexible.

I think for a place that is clearly creating an extremely high level dining experience, it is more tolerable to hold the line than at a comfortable neighborhood spot. That said, I know plenty of folks that feel that simply if they are paying, they should get what they want. And in a sense they are right, because they won’t come back if they feel uncomfortable or ill treated.

“annoying foodie customer” – I really liked your comment because it points out a “third way”. It isn’t just a question of whether you say yes or no, but the attitude presented to the customer. In fact I would bet that a gracious no is far better than an irritated yes!


By: annoying foodie customer Fri, 16 Nov 2007 18:57:20 +0000 This is a great entry, and a good topic for discussion. Interestingly, this exact topic occurs with regularity across the entire spectrum of businesses. The title actually pegs the issue perfectly, it’s all about expectations. Perhaps the problem is that many business operators don’t fully appreciate that they can actually select their customers. The common thinking is possibly that customers can choose you, but all you can do is to sit back and hope that they do. How do you choose customers? Marketing.

The “bottomless beverage” issue is a great example. The large chain restaurants “trained” the majority of people (in the U.S.) to expect free refills. Initially it was heavily marketed as a “differentiator”, and these companies pay big bucks to get experts in marketing to craft and communicate this message. From a business perspective it is a shrewd tactic, since the larger the company the more leverage they have with Coke or PepsiCo which makes it economically viable for them, but harder for small businesses. Once the consumer is trained, then they expect it from every other “similar” establishment. Over time it trickles up from McDs, to Applebee’s to regional chains. At some point if you want to select the same customers you must meet this requirement.

So, how do you avoid this? Select different customers. How do you do that? Marketing. The problem is that most small businesses don’t do marketing well because it is a big effort that is largely made up of innumerable small decisions. In the case of a restaurant it includes the menu items, how customers are greeted, the interior decor, the exterior decor, the prices and on and on.

Here’s one hypothetical example of how one might select customers to only pick customers that don’t expect free soda refills. Do not offer any soft drinks at all. This will ensure that if someone expects free soda refills that they will not come for more than one visit. From a business perspective it must be understood that in the U.S. this is a substantial number of people. If you do offer soda’s -but without free refills – then you must understand that you will FREQUENTLY disappoint your customer. This should be a business decision – not an emotional one.

Of course the best marketing and communications in the world will not prevent all conflict. The question of how to handle people who become upset over a violated expectation is a great one. As the article pointed out, sometimes the expectation is reasonable and sometimes not. In either case conflict might occur. Handling conflict well requires a very well-defined and consistently applied value system. Take the recipe request example.

Someone asks for a recipe that is proprietary. If they ask for it, that means that they already have some level of expectation that they will receive it. So, what does values have to do with this? Let’s look at all the sides:

1) This is actually a compliment, since the customer clearly likes the dish enough to ask for the recipe.

2) The chef and/or owner may put a high value on keeping the recipe confidential because of the time and skill invested in developing the dish.

3) The wait staff values their gratuity, and may (mistakenly) equate compliance with a request with outstanding service.

It is a tough problem to balance all these viewpoints, however the values can be reconciled with some thought. We should start with the presumption that a conflict occurred over this – which means we are looking for a way to improve the response to eliminate future conflict. This means that the owner or manager needs to formulate the policy, communicate it to all the staff, and even rehearse it. So, how are the values reconciled?

1) First, there needs to be recognition from the entire staff that a recipe request is a COMPLIMENT. You must presume that the customer asked because they really really liked the dish.

2) Any response must communicate to the customer sincere appreciation for the compliment, but must also communicate clearly the time and effort put into developing new dishes.

3) The response should also convey thanks for the compliment in a way that makes the customer feel good about having asked – as opposed to be scolded for asking. If the chef is personable, perhaps the response could involve a brief visit from the chef where they present a “special” recipe that is not on the menu as thanks. Perhaps the manager could make a special visit on behalf of the chef with a petit four. The key is that if there is a small token of gratitude it should be negligible in economic value but thoughtful.

Will this always result in avoiding conflict? Probably not – but it is a good bet that it would become very rare. Although every circumstance cannot be predicted, thinking about common situations carefully and formulating a values-grounded response becomes part of your marketing and customer selection. OK, well I have rambled on long enough. Maybe even a little of this makes sense! Great blog – keep it up!

By: Dan Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:14:18 +0000 This came up at our place awhile back and I reached my snapping point – my blogged response to it all:

By: shuna fish lydon Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:49:31 +0000 This is an incredibly good set of points, Dana. I would be the worst FOH person because I would tell people to step back across the line they love to cross.

If a rest. gets a reputation for being a babysitter, that’s what they’ll be. Check out Danny Meyer’s book– his hospitality philosophy keeps him in business but he doesn’t lick the bottoms of anyone’s feet!

When a place is new they need to please all the customers because each one is coming in for the first time, but it’s important to keep your integrity. We are an extremely privileged society. And we are known the world over to abuse this and continue to be bratty and ungrateful even in the face of pure generosity.

It’s important to have manager’s meetings to discuss why you make the rules you do and what messages you’re sending to customers when there are no rules.